Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
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It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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