i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
