If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
