is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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