So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
