he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize