The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Randomize
