Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
