never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
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