our cab driver is having phone sex.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
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Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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