ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.