Texts From Last Night

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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.

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  (732): I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv. http://tfl.nu/27sr
  Replies (32) Good night (1447) Bad night (4430)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.

  (1-203): View more from Connecticut

  it's 1 pm.

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  (203): i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words. (1-203): it's 1 pm. http://tfl.nu/0ewp
  Replies (29) Good night (8632) Bad night (1154)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?

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  (719): Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas? http://tfl.nu/io06
  Replies (35) Good night (7118) Bad night (1453)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.

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  (704): Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people. http://tfl.nu/g4iv
  Replies (6) Good night (3683) Bad night (841)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore

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  (860): in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore http://tfl.nu/eivb
  Replies (24) Good night (5360) Bad night (1072)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.

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  (802): All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed. http://tfl.nu/ahym
  Replies (4) Good night (1852) Bad night (649)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.

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  (812): Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand. http://tfl.nu/f9hd
  Replies (9) Good night (716) Bad night (3431)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Did it finish?

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  (203): You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified. (508): Did it finish? http://tfl.nu/ahm8
  Replies (4) Good night (3018) Bad night (894)
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  (28): View more from

  so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.

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  (28): so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours. http://tfl.nu/gbso
  Replies (15) Good night (559) Bad night (1375)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead

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  (907): I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead http://tfl.nu/kczi
  Replies (4) Good night (913) Bad night (343)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.

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  (775): If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs. http://tfl.nu/o8sz
  Replies (1) Good night (846) Bad night (292)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water

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  (614): You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water http://tfl.nu/21tc
  Replies (1) Good night (1179) Bad night (309)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that

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  (203): so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that http://tfl.nu/ocbs
  Replies (0) Good night (701) Bad night (410)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.

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  (206): I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night. http://tfl.nu/ej36
  Replies (1) Good night (670) Bad night (309)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams

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  (303): If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams http://tfl.nu/psml
  Replies (1) Good night (413) Bad night (205)

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