508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
