It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
