there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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