So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
