You're a womanizer and a bitch.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
