Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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