a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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