Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
