soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
