before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I still have a little drunk in my system
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
