I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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