I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
