just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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