I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize