Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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