Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
my phone needs a breathalizer
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
