He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
