I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
