Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
