its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
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he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
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