she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
My liver just had a heart attack.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize