My nipple is on Facebook.
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
