DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Drunk is not a location!
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
