Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Randomize
