I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
