I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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