Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
