stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
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