Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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