I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
