I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
