finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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