I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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