I can text with my tongue
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize