i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I puked a lego.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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