Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize