the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize