I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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