P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
