it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
