Define "chronic" masturbator.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
