shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
