Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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