Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I want to be your penis for a week.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
