Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize