He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
porn star boner night. come get it.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
