i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Randomize
