You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
