So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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