how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
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